thankful for the present

Mom, it is very special that you have apologized to me for past hurts. I am working towards forgiveness. I completely accept it when you say you did the best you could, and I am sorry you "burnt out on parenting." My hope is that you can at some point, through our current evolving relationship, see how those motherless days influenced and shaped me as much as all the good times. And I do remember the good times. But giving you the blanket "Oh, it's OK," when you apologize would be a disservice to the parts of me that formed in a different way than they would have if there would have been someone I knew that I could count on no matter what. I think I am well on the road to forgiveness, because I have compassion for your experience, I am not angry, and I am not afraid to try out these new ways of talking to you about it all. I am very grateful for this time we have together as adults.